Happy

So today, I really thought was going to be another boring day.
But I was wrong.
The change is very welcome in my life.

I woke up, got dressed, and my sister and  I took the dog to get his nails clipped.
Well, the stupid lady nicked him twice, and now the back seat of my sisters car looks like a crime scene.
After all that, we got some donuts, and I got dressed (yes, again. I was covered in dog hair and blood.)
Then we went to Bath and Body Works, where I got some pocketbacs, and a new holder to keep with me at work. And we went in petland and played with the bunnies and looked at the dogs, and when we walked in, a bird was flying really fast, and went head first into the window. I laughed way more than I should have.
Then we went to lunch with my grandma, and one of her friends, Ella. And we talked, and laughed, and had a good old time. After, we went to Babies R Us, (my sister is pregnant), and we looked at baby stuff, and we got her some maternity clothes, and then I came back home.
When my parents got home, we had dinner, and watched Last Vegas, which is a great movie. And after the movie, we watched Pretty Little Liars, and Ravenswood, and I played Sims until I got really bored with it.
And its snowing outside, and it looks so pretty. And I just want to put on like 12 layers of warm things, and go lay in the middle of my backyard, and watch the snow fall onto me, and around me.

I am just so happy today.

This change is so welcome.

I hope things stay happy.

Forever.

Fuck you, fuck you very, very much.

I'm just gonna start out with the "dear anonymous" facebook post I have.


Dear Anonymous,

Fuck. You.
You say you're so happy I'm in your life.
You say you brag to your friends about me.
You call me beautiful.
You tell me all about how your ex ruins your life.
AND THEN YOU GET BACK WITH HER.
After saying you really hope that something happens with us.
Not even six hours after you tell me you want to hold me.
Not even a whole day after saying you think I'm the one.
Well, guess what.
I fucking hate you.
And I hope you fucking understand when I don't answer your messages.
Scum.




SO LET ME JUST RAGE ABOUT THIS GUY.
We started working together, and he's like, "hey, I'm gonna follow you on twitter." 
Oh, okay?
Whatever. I never get on there.
So we start taking through twitter, and he's all like, 
"hey, snapchat me."
Mmkay.
Whatever. I don't really care.
This kid is a little weird.
THEN HE'S ALL LIKE 
"HEY YOU SHOULD TEXT ME."
So I give him my number.
AND FUCKER STARTS TALKING TO ME.
Okay, so talking to him wasn't so bad.
It's when we started flirting.
He admitted he thought I was cute,
And I was all, 
"Yeah, I thought you were cute, too."
AND THEN WE JUST START FLIRTING 
And he tells me about how he hates when his ex starts shit with him
WHICH IS LIKE EVERY FUCKING DAY.
Something upsets him.
I'm there to help.
No big deal.
So I start thinking I like this guy,
And he starts calling me babe, baby, honey...
What are we, a married couple? 
He says he can't wait to see what we'll be.
And he just seemed to care so much.
He said he was bragging about me to his friends.
Too cute, right?
WELL THEN I GET ON TWITTER
And he said on there, "giving in."
What?
Huh?
So I check back in a few, 
AND HE JUST GOT BACK WITH HIS EX.
THE ONE THAT STARTS SHIT WITH HIM EVERYDAY.
WHAT THE FUCK.
So here I am, raging, at almost one in the morning
BECAUSE WHO THE FUCK DOES THAT.
NOT SIX HOURS AGO HE CALLED ME BABE.
NOT SIX HOURS AGO HE SAID HE WANTED TO HOLD ME.
What the fuck ever.
Matthew Stock, 
Go fuck yourself.
Thanks for nothing.

My Dad is Better Than Your Dad.

Just watch and laugh at my dad.
Dancing to Thrift Shop by Macklemore and Ryan Lewis. :)

A Wish

Babe.
Honey.
I'm here for you.
Need a shoulder to cry on?
I'm here.
Need to go off
Because he really pissed you off
Again?
I'm here to tell you
Just how stupid he is.
And I hate
The way you feel
About yourself,
And I know it sucks,
Because I feel
The same way.
And I wish
You could see
How BEAUTIFUL
Everyone thinks you are.
You're out of their league,
That's why,
It seems you
Can never get a date,
They know
You deserve better
Than they could give you.
And the meds?
And the weight?
Babe, I'm here with you.
I have the same thing
Going on,
And you need to know,
That I'm always here.
Just a phone call away.
You're in my favorites
On my phone
So if you call after midnight,
My phone will still ring
For you,
And I'll wake up,
And I'll talk
About whatever it is
That you need.
I love you,
And I hate to see you upset,
And I just wish
We could both get over our "sick"
And be normal,
And not have to worry
About the damn meds,
Or the fucking weight.
Or even dumb ass boys.
My weekends with you
Are the reason
I wake up in the morning.
We need a vacation,
Together,
All alone,
To just be happy.
I love you so much.
<3

There's a Stye in My Eye! And Other Weird Things Happening To My Body.

Well,
I've been sick.
For a month.
I had a fever of 101.5 one day,
And completely normal temperature the next day.
And when it was high,
I felt fine.
But as it came down,
Well,
I felt worse.
And it really sucked.
So I went to the doctor.
And he said,
"Well,
You have a virus in you.
And you get over it,
And then get exposed to it again."
So I had no medicine.
Lame.
As.
Fuck.
Ugh.
Okay, so I'll just stay sick for awhile.
No big deal.
THE DAY AFTER I GO TO THE DOCTOR
My eye starts hurting.
Like a bitch.
I mean,
It fucking hurt.
So my mom said,
"It's a stye."
Awesome.
Then, my knee starts hurting.
And it hurts to move.
So I take advil.
Sweet.
Two advil before school,
Two after,
And if I work out,
Two after that.
And then yesterday,
The stye is gone from my eyelid.
BUT NOW IT'S ON THE BOTTOM OF MY EYE AND IT HURTS EVEN WORSE.
Grrrrr,
I'm so sickly.
But hey,
Less school time,
More Skyrim time.
I guess I just have to look at the positives.
And realize I'll be 18 in just 19 days.
So exciting.
I'll be out clubbing all night.
Or going to Build-A-Bear.
Yeah.
That sounds nice.
:)

Valentine's Day and the Huge Fuck Up

No.
I hate this.
I really hate this.
I don't understand this.
Nothing is quite right.
I hate Valentine's day.
No matter how much I plan,
How much I try,
I still
FUCK. IT. UP.
Messed up.
Completely.
Wake up late? Yup.
That's what I did.
Dawdle too much? Yup.
I really did.
I'm just so over it.
Over this day.
Over this year.
Over everything.
If I make it through the next week,
It will be a huge milestone,
But I don't know.
I've been on 4 different medications
In the last year.
I want to be better.
And I want to be off this damn medication.
I want to be normal.
But that's impossible.
Not after this last year.
Fuck this last year.
I'm done.
Just done.
I just can't keep doing it.
I need more help.
But how do I do that,
When everyone thinks I'm better?
How do I ask for more help,
When my parents have dropped
Over $1,000 on me in the last year
To get me help?
It just isn't fair to everyone
That I need everything
And take everything away
From everyone else.
I don't know what to do.
And I don't care.
Or want to care.
Or need to care.

Stretching Your Dollar and Reaching Pro Status

Last weekend,
Me and my best friend hung out.
Normal, right?
Nope.
We went shopping.
And had dinner.
And two snacks.
And we only spent 44 dollars.
We were gone from 5 to midnight.
Here's the breakdown.
(prices aren't all correct, but estimations. I ended up with around 13 extra dollars, but I don't know the price of some items, so things won't come out perfectly.)

2 dinners at Steak 'N Shake ($15)
5 Incense sticks ($1.22)
1 Incense burner ($2)
1 Speedway Fountain Drink ($1)
1 Water bottle ($1.39)
1 Cinnasticks from Cinnabon ($?)
1 Cinnabon fountain drink ($?)
2 pairs of matching undies ($2.39 each)
1 Fancy Water ($?)
1 Hot Chocolate ($1.39)
1 Cheeseburger ($1)
1 Large Fry ($1.38)
1 Lottery Scratch off ($1)
-----------------------------------------------------------

I don't  know about you, but this seems really successful, seeing as how we each started with around 20 dollars each when it came to going out.
And I must say, if I could do it all again,
I totally would.(:

Finding Nemo and The Worst French Student Ever.

Instead of paying attention in class today,
I drew pictures.
Because French was boring.
Here are the pictures.
Cool, right?